She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
