ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
