Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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