JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
