im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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