can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
