Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
