The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
