you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
