better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
