my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
