im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
