I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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