tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
