Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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