I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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