you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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