I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
