Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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