Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
