it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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