meet me or not, i'm out of control
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize