SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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