Where is the hickey?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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