Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i was born a porn star she said
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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