Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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