PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
