Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
