Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
