i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
