Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
