woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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