I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize