i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
