I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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