he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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