You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I am available for nakedness
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
