You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
