You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
