whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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