I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
