sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
