come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
