yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
