I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
should my penis look like a turkey
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have already put on my inside pants.
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