you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need a burrito and a hug.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
