If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize