I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
