And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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