if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
