I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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