We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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