now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The uberlube is also flammable
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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