I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize