absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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