hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
