So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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